Old frustrations are coming back to haunt me. As often happens, this seeps into every other area of life and leaves me frustrated and a bit snappish as well as making it difficult to find the “good”.
I’m still deeply wishing and praying for a full-time job so that the stress of working two part-time jobs will be lessened. And in all honestly, if one of the two part-time employers were to offer a full-time position, I would gladly jump at the chance. Mind you, this is not a “if either one offered” attitude. Of the two, there is exactly one I desire to continue my employment with. The money from the other is a nice addition to the family finances but that is really the only good thing I can say about it.
I’m going to be honest – I’ve been wounded. No music teacher (or art teacher or p.e. teacher) wants to hear that they are simply there to provide planning time for the “real” teachers. I chose the music education as my major in college because I believe it has been instrumental in teaching certain lessons and bringing a sense of beauty into my life. Being denigrated to nothing more than a glorified baby-sitter is disheartening.
The other employer . . . let’s just say that they’ve made huge strides (at least in my experience) in an effort to really include the part-time staff in the life of the institution (and there are LOTS of part-time staff!). If I got a call tomorrow offering full-time for next semester, I wouldn’t have to think for longer than a second before offering an enthusiastic “yes”.
But I have no reason to believe that such an offer is coming. So I seek to find the good in a job where my education and experience are not as highly valued as I’d like and I’ve put in numerous unpaid after school hours to get the Christmas program ready without so much as a thank you.
Looking for the good in that situation- the job is very close to home so I’m not using much gas (in warmer weather I can even walk!) and it is some extra money in the paycheck. Well, it’s not much but it’s a start.
Looking for the good in a more general fashion? That’s a little easier – I have the opportunity to work with the Spring musical at Iowa Central Community College in 2012, an opportunity due in large part to my other theatrical involvements in the community and my part-time employment as an adjunct professor. And I will once again get the chance to work with the students at FDSH on their Spring musical! My hubby is filling our home with beautiful, handmade pieces – dining room table and chairs, bookshelves for his daughters, gifts for the kids, even a trivet or two – as well as being “commissioned” to do some pieces by friends of the family! Is it weird that I love seeing the joy that this brings him?!
I will choose to focus on these things while I wait for God to provide. And I still believe he will. I’m just getting a little impatient to see how!