No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth! I’ve been caught in this weird state of contradiction where I have all kinds of things I want to say and cannot figure out how to articulate ANY of it in a way that others would understand.
But I have landed on one thing that I think needs to be shared. Be patient with me as I slip on my kid gloves and try to make sure that I don’t tread on the toes of others too harshly.
In a perfect world, the fact that I am a pastor’s wife wouldn’t have any effect on my ability to speak up in settings where the church family have gathered. The fact is, however, that every thing I say undergoes extra scrutiny. Other women in the church can speak their mind with impunity – often being downright rude – but if I speak up, I risk subjecting my husband to a chewing out! Nevertheless, I’m going to risk it and say exactly what is on my heart.
In the not too distant past, I made a comment about having four kids and a woman in my church said, “Honey, you’re married. You have five kids.” This is a woman who claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ and she has no problem bashing a fellow follower simply because of his gender. I wish she was the exception but, sadly, male-bashing is far too prevalent in the church today. As a woman – and a wife who desperately wants to be respectful and loving to the man in my life – it makes me angry when a woman in the church bashes on men simply because they are men.
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
How is it loving to bash on men?! (Disclaimer – there are probably men out there who bash on women but I am not a man so I do not feel called to address that issue!) Can you imagine what would have happened if there had been a couple visiting our church on the day that the woman I mentioned above made her statement?! What kind of an impression would that have made?
My husband is not perfect. Neither is yours. Guess what – you and I aren’t perfect either!!! So why don’t we stop taking shots at those we profess to love and start building them up! We might be pleasantly surprised by the results!
So if we ever spend time in one another’s presence, consider this your fair warning – I will not participate in male bashing activities. If you and I are chatting and you start trashing husbands, I will walk away and I cannot promise to excuse myself politely before I do so. I may just walk away while you are talking and offer no apology. I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t trust myself to open my mouth!