No Quick Fix

My girls were big Glee fans when the show first came out.  To be brutally honest, the interest of at least a couple of them waned somewhere around the second season.  Regardless of their feelings regarding the show, they were stunned to see that one of the show’s stars, Cory Monteith, had been found dead in a Vancouver, Canada, hotel room.  No cause of death is yet known but so many people I know are speculating based on the fact that the 31 year old had struggled for years with substance abuse.

This is only the latest story of a “star” taken too soon – Mindy McCready, Heath Ledger, and Amy Winehouse just to name a few.

Much of my life exists in the world of the Performing Arts.  Many of the people I encounter are young people – middle school through college age – and a common sentiment that I hear from them is a desire to be somewhere other than where they are.  They believe – very sincerely, I might add – that a change in location will solve all of their woes.

I lived in a large metropolitan area and the young people wanted to live someplace even bigger.  I lived near a city of 100,000 and heard numerous statements regarding wanting to “get out”.  A village of 650, a town of 25,000 . . . it doesn’t matter the size, they all have one thing in common – there are young people living there who believe that the only thing in the way of their everlasting happiness is what recovering addicts refer to as a “geographical cure”.

But there is a sad fact they forget – when that young person relocates, they take themselves there.  All of them.  Their hangups, trust issues, painful past, lack of confidence, bitterness, anger, fear . . . it all goes with you!

We all have baggage.  Every last one of us that is still living.  A change in location WILL NOT cure our issues.  The junk that weighs us down in our current location will travel with us to the new place unless we deal with it!

Prov. 14: 30 – A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Learning to be at peace – with yourself, with your past, with your fears, with your failures, with all of it – will allow you to find happiness anywhere regardless of the size of the location.  Wanting something more/different/better/larger/smaller -whatever! – will simply make you miserable.

The various new media formats are full of stories about celebrities in trouble with the law, battling substance abuse issues, dying from overdose, taking their own lives, failed celebrity marriages and more.  Financial success is obviously not the answer.  Finding a way for your heart to be at peace just might be what you need.

2 thoughts on “No Quick Fix

  1. While moving to another town or city may not cure every problem, I have seen it do wonders for those struggling with addiction. Just in that, YOU know you have a problem, but everyone else around you doesn’t, and you’re free to reinvent yourself however you’d like. When I went through rehab, I was so thankful that it was in another state, 16hrs away, from everything that I knew. I proved to myself that I could live on my own, be another person that I wanted to be without every single person around me knowing my entire history and holding it over my head.

    I think it’s interesting that teenagers think of it as a “fix” in a stage where they’re trying to define themselves. I grew up in a town of 250k easily, and I never heard anyone just dying to get out of there, except maybe if there was another college they wanted to go to. Now, I am a counselor in a town of maybe 4,000. The first thing I tell them is to keep their grades up so they can go to college – and get the heck out of the town they live in. They NEED to see the world past their own little bubble. They NEED to see that they’re not the big fish they see they are. It breaks my heart to hear kiddos that have never been outside a 45min-hour radius outside their hometown.

    All that to say, I DO agree with you that people expect something else to fix their problems. Wherever they go, they are stuck with themselves. But sometimes, getting lost is the best way to find something else more awesome.


    • moj8668 says:

      I agree that relocating AFTER “facing your demons” can be an extremely helpful way to start moving forward. I’ve just seen a number of people try to escape marital problems, substance abuse, dysfunctional relationships with siblings/parent/etc. by moving to a new place!


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