perseverance

A Prayer for Pastor's and Their Wives

Abba –

This being a Pastor’s wife thing is hard.  *sigh* Really hard.  Your kids can be really mean.  Sorry, but it’s true.  Some of them want me to do exactly what they say, nothing more and nothing less, and that stinks.  I’ve had to learn to hold my tongue and not speak up for myself over every petty little thing (I know, I know, it teaches me self-control and that’s a good thing) and some of them will never be happy with me no matter what I do.

But I know I’m not alone.  I know of other Pastor’s and their wives going through this and so much more.

My heart hurts for them.  One or two names in particular have wedged themselves into my brain and I can’t shake them loose.  So this is my prayer for them.

Surround them with your comfort and peace.  Remind them that those who are making life so challenging – and maybe even painful – are simply confused and truly think they are doing the right thing.  Let them know that you are crazy about them and remind them of the promise in Zephaniah 3:17 – “He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Help them to persevere in the face of disappointment, opposition, criticism . . . I don’t exactly know what they are facing but I know it’s going to take some extra help to come out on the other side with their personal integrity intact.

Let them know they are loved by others.  I know love them more perfectly than I ever could.  But you and I BOTH know that we silly humans sometimes need to feel love from someone with skin on.  Let me be that someone.  And since we’re talking about love, fill them with your love for those who seem determined to make life difficult.  Help them to live the words of Luke 6:28 – “bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  

Most of all, Dad, I want you to give them PEACE!!  Cranky church members will always be with us – some people just have to have something to complain about! – and sometimes it seems pointless to keep pressing forward.  I know those on my heart love you and want nothing more than to impact this world with your love.

And one last thing – as I think about and pray for these wonderful individuals this passage keeps running through my head.  I’m sure there’s a reason so I’m just going to leave it here ‘cuz I know that you’ll know why the two are connected!

 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 3:7-14

Thoughts From My Journal

I don’t usually post stuff from my journal on the web.  Even my family members know that they are taking a life-threatening risk by touching my journal.  It’s very private.  But this one is supposed to be shared.  Don’t know why, but here it is.

I am broken.

Sifting feels final.  Fatal.

And I feel stuck in the process.

Hopeless.  Useless.

 

But that’s the enemy’s goal.

He wants me immobilized.  Defeated.

It is his goal to strip me

Of both purpose and identity.

 

He will fail.

He has done nothing to shape my identity

So it isn’t his to take.

My true purpose is beyond his power to touch

 

But that knowledge – while precious –

Doesn’t make it less painful

To work without affirmation,

To have my work belittled.

 

But only my Abba

Knows my true name.

The name he gave me;

The identity he is refining.

 

The enemy sifts, hoping to ruin.

Abba allows it, knowing that sifting can refine.

While the enemy seeks my surrender,

Abba seeks to more clearly define my purpose.

 

So I take the next step, one more breath,

And move through the next moment

Knowing this is only a season

That is ultimately for my good.

 

In the Midst of Obedience

I spoke in an earlier post about the experience of obeying even when it doesn’t make sense and it’s kind of tough.  Well, here I am, a couple of weeks in, and it’s still tough and it really doesn’t make sense.

So what now?  Do I continue on this path and do what is obedient?  Do I continue to deal with those who consistently tell me that I should do what would make them happiest or do I just give in?  Do I continue to deal with those who just flat out ignore my existence because they don’t like my choice?

Yep.  It hurts to be treated in that way by others who claim to be my church family.  But it’s my reality.

Why do I keep doing it?

Very simple – I am convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am obeying the Spirit’s leading.  I am more aware of the Spirit’s leading/conversation in my life and it’s been wild ride but I love it!  Hubby and I have had some wonderful conversation around the situation and I am fully convinced of his support (and he’s been an amazing source of encouragement!).  And numerous little things have happened that have confirmed that I’m doing the right thing.

So I’m staying on this path with James 4:17 as my reminder:

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

My determination may not make others happy.  But this isn’t about making them happy.  This is about doing what I know I ought to be doing.